starry nights and van gogh

I admit that the very first time I saw a picture of Vincent Van Gogh's Starry Night, my thought was " I can do better than that". Big thoughts. From a small town girl who never made even one serious effort to paint. So what happened to the dream of becoming a painter? Nothing. It got sidetracked.

As I grew older though, my perception of life and of Van Gogh's Starry Night changed. My dream of becoming an artist dimmed; Starry Night shone brighter, When as a young girl I'd dismissed it as a childish effort to paint, now I'm moved by its consistent and vibrant brush strokes.

hello, sentinel...

turning
from watching the moon
my comfortable old shadow

led me home.

-from an old Japanese collection of poems

-the painting by sally

I've always been fascinated by the moon, not so much with its facts and theories as a heavenly body but rather on how its reflected light illuminate roof tops and tree canopies, creating long shadows on the ground, transforming an otherwise dreary scenery into dreamland :-)

It all started when I was ten years old. I saw a painting featured in a magazine, of an evening sky- the moon as the focal point was full, pale yellow, radiant and to my adoring eyes, beautiful. Below the painting was the caption: The Sentinel.

finding time to paint

"Okay...just before you sleep tonight, think really hard. Make plans for the next 7 days and try to stick to it. And include in your schedule 3 to 4 hours for painting, 2 times in a week. Saturday would be fine and maybe on a Wednesday when you don't feel that Monday kind of feeling anymore."

How many times did I tell myself this? Not many 'cause I know it won't work. I need someone else to convince me that it could work and to push me hard enough into doing it. Maybe I lack passion for art. Maybe I need to study painting...attend school. I did have some "painting" lessons before but it was for interior design plates...all we painted were chairs, throw pillows, houseplants, curtains, etc.. So I was not taught about composition..why, I don't even know what I don't know! And books don't tell everything.

The bottom line: it's not that I don't have time. I just don't think I could.

Why I didn't start painting yet...

I already have an aquarelle. Actually I got two. My nephew gave a set as Christmas gift together with 6 brushes of different sizes in addition to a dozen or so that I acquired for the last 2 years. I also have a watercolor sketching pad and canvas pad and a sketchpad. I also have two acrylic sets and also some oil pastels. I have books on how to paint.

So what’s stopping you? A friend asked. What more do you need?
Water. I answered.
Heh! she uttered.
Rags and pencils?
She pouted.
I’m afraid I can’t do it, I said, trying to look as if I was joking.
No, she said, you’re just plain lazy.

Maybe. Maybe not. But the truth is, I’m out of practice. Why, I can’t even draw anymore!!

So, even if I have to start learning again, somehow I just have to push myself because my friend was right. I am lazy. Or not motivated enough.